Live from the Egyptian Theater

I just spoke with the Seattle organizer of the Reel Rock Film Festival, Natalie, who tells me that tonight's event is OVERSOLD. That means I'll be presenting to over 600 people. And some of them won't have chairs and they will be angry.

looks whose eyes are back to the living again!
We at The Wilder Coast (aka Me at The Wilder Coast) are very excited about this. It would behoove one to arrive early, should one want a seat.

Taking it up a level

I wrote this for Trailsedge and then quickly decided it was the best thing I've ever written. It's not. But- it was so much fun to write I had to share it here on my blog. Technically it's "The Ten Levels of Rock Climbing", but I like to think it's much broader than that. I call it "The Ten Levels of Whatever You are Involved in at the Moment." So next time you hear someone talking about themselves all obnoxious, saying they're "taking it up a notch" or "going to the next level", put a copy of this on their desk. Consider it a road map. You are so helpful and thoughtful.

The Ten  Levels of Whatever You are Involved in at the Moment

I work in a climbing gym, and every day I overhear some dude telling his buddies that he’s taking his climbing “to the next level.” It’s lead me to wonder- just how many levels are there?


Level One
At the first level, you harbor a terrible secret. Ninety two percent of the time you’re climbing you’d rather be at a water park, but you can’t afford it! So pack some butter horns and a full bottle of Jergins Skin Lotion- you’re going cragging. Take one last look at the kitty poster in your dining room- Hang in there! You’re gonna need to remember that when you’re twenty feet high on top rope. But don’t get too scared, your back-up belayer is back up belayed.

Level Two
When faced with a committed move, channel your totem spirit: the otter. Sleek, cute, paw-holding, Internet sensation otter. Due to an extreme cotton allergy, you never wear a T-shirt and you drive a compact, hybrid, American-made bicycle. (Your “other” car is a Toyoda Highlander.) You celebrate another flashed 5.9 by shouting at the top of your lungs “Ladies and Gentlemen….TAYLOR SWIFT!”

Level Three
You’re still mourning the death of pop King Michael Jackson and you don’t have a job, which means any day is a good day to climb. Bring along some matchsticks and gasoline as a snack and get psyched up with a good head to toe screaming fit. Your frequent and uncomfortable references about ‘deflowering’ the rock is decreasing your popularity by the day. Pay close attention to the lunar cycle because at a full moon you grow talons and wings.

Level Four
You’ve replaced your hands with custom-made iron and leather appendages. Every time you take a whipper, you loudly declare the moon landing to be a farce. You love bikinis, star charts and pie.

Level Five
At the fifth level, every rumor ever said about you instantly becomes true. Your closest friends are ghosts. You frequently appear in public wearing a parrot on your shoulder- not be confused with your totem spirit, which is an over-sized, long extinct mammal. You sleep comfortably each night in the back of your truck on a bed of smashed glass and floor wax. Bruce Springsteen really is your boss. Like, actually your boss.

Level Six  Your typical expedition is a fifteen year orbit around the sun. Your friends just can’t keep track of you! Your sweat is 85% kombucha, you wear a headband, and you love to rap about famous Spaniards. To celebrate a tough day of crushing, you make wide loops around base camp and tell all the lady climbers that you “like to mate after battle.” 

Level Seven You’re a serious climber, but you still have an appetite for fun. On summer days, you enjoy taking an afternoon voodoo break and chugging some margarita mix. Your favorite climbing partners are the parents of the balloon boy, and you’ve been struck by lightning thirteen times.

Level Eight
You make smarmy references that people battling depression “should just spend more time outside.” Also, you enjoy yoga.

Level Nine
Warlock. You don’t climb, you mangle. You collect hospital ID bracelets, which is a lot weirder than it sounds seeing as you yourself have never been to the hospital. Although you speak sixteen languages, you haven’t spoken to another human since you moved to Moab four years ago. You’re a purist free-soloer and Chris Sharma once valet parked your car just for the thrill of it. Your totem spirit is an owl-robot hybrid that will evolve in the year 2976. 

Level Ten
From a “strictly medical” standpoint, you’re dead.

(Bonus Level: The level in which one owns these Ariat Rodeobaby boots. So kicky and fun. That would be the best level EVER.)

Photo Book: Early Afternoons

There's no fancy way to say this. I've tried. For about two days I've sat at my desk trying to figure out how to word it in a way that won't make me hate myself.


 I give up.

So here it is. 


 Everything is good.

So good.
 Take, for example, certain early afternoons in Ballard. I take Hometeam to Discovery Park. She runs through tall grass and swims in the Sound while I collect sea glass and listen to The Lonely Island on my Ipod.  


 If we're lucky, we're joined by Steph and Ella, who is three months old.
.

On other days, we'll climb at the World Wall instead.

And I know I'm killing my friends in Rhode Island when I say that the climbing is so good right here....and it's only 40 minutes away.

As you can see, it's very nice out in the West Coast. Beautiful fall day after beautiful fall day.

I'm very happy. It's horrifying.

The Over-Brewed Bro


This article is dedicated to the all the men in my life. For your weird comments, impossible triumphs, ridiculous adventures, your blissful simplicity and stunning complexity, for your awkward encounters, your bizarre advances and your equally incomprehensible rejections, I give a big, hearty thank you. Thank you for giving me so much shit to write about. Without you, I'd have to be a fiction writer. Gross. I owe you guys a whole lot. It is my sincerest hope that in ten years, we will all still be very close Facebook friends. Bros, this little piece is for you:

Click me, I'll take you there!

Acadia



Look here we are, lucky dogs spending a couple of days at Otter Cliffs in Acadia.


Perfect days for climbing. Ocean and rock. Simple as that.

The funeral date was set for the following Saturday and I knew I'd have to get down to Connecticut somehow. But for now, there was just this:


Sea-smashed sandstone, salt and rope. And the certainty that comes with knowing you're not wasting your time anymore.

Get Away from Me, April

Out here on the left coast, May is showing some signs of developmental delays. May is acting a whole lot like April. Now it's almost June, and it's too late for a spring, so we're just holding our breaths for a summer. Although really, I'm a bit detached, since I'm jumping ship in a few weeks and going back to New England.
This past weekend, Memorial day, was one of my last excursions in the Northwest until August. Here are some images from the long weekend in North Bend, 40 miles outside of Seattle, where living has officially become an underwater experience. 

It was a freezing few days, rain heavy, watery and slick. We sought out semi-dry lines that zig-zagged between waterfalls; at night we lay side by side in the smokey orange light of a roomy moutaineering tent. The rain's constant tap-tap on the walls muddled us into a trance, until all conversation was replaced by long stares and distant comments. The whole weekend went by like this: a deep, vivid, aquatic trance. I'm not sure this will make sense to you, but it was an elegant few days. I saw a lot of turquoise. 


 
Leading climbs was luxurious. I could feel the blurry inside me begin to crystallize. Do you know what I'm saying? It means I stopped thinking about general shit and I only think about the shit that's going to get me to the next bolt.

 So, that's all I'm going to think about from now on. Deciding what the next bolt is going to be, and getting there.

Rock and Temptation

This boy at the camp site is walking straight towards me. He's got the look I tend to fall for- trip and fall for- trip and fall head first into the dirt for: the dusty t-shirt, tousled hair, those tell-tale ripped forearms of a climber, the Chris Sharma grin. And he's looking at me, I mean he is staring shamelessly right at me. And I'm looking right back, you'd better believe it, I'm like come on over here, cowboy, and introduce yourself. I'm sitting in the back of my car, legs swinging, drinking a bottle of beer, feeling pretty good about myself. I've just taken one of those two dollar showers they have here at this parking-lot-turned-campsite where all the Smith climbers stay. You can set up your tent anywhere in the surrounding fields but fires are only allowed in the parking lot, so it becomes somewhat of a shoulder to shoulder community experience once the night falls.
So I've been told.


I'm pretty proud of my hands right now. Even after a shower they're still rope-darkened and covered in chalk with patches of blood on the knuckles. I'm feeling all casual and strong and straight up hot, you know? Because if you're ever going to feel good about yourself it's after a long day of cragging, when you're finally in clean clothes and you're sitting around relaxing, it's just a positive place to be.

The best part is I still have my Vermont plates on the car so everyone assumes that John and Diana and I just rolled in all the way from the East Coast. And we let them think that because it gives us some street cred. "Oh, yeah, we got in at about 3am," we say, which is true, but only because we were slow to leave Seattle and we lost the directions and no one was in a big hurry to leave the grocery store where we had dinner.

We're still eye locked,  me and the boy.  And that moment comes where one of us should look away, but neither of us do. This is a good sign. I'm well versed in the meaning behind the meter of these staring contests. If someone glances at you for a hot second in a crag parking lot, or the river put-in, or whatever, it means you've been noticed. If someone looks at you for two beats, it means they're interested. And if that obvious but intangible moment comes when they should look away but they don't and suddenly they're looking at you for three beats? That means - USUALLY- they're interested and they're available. Pretty much it means let the cows out, there's gonna be a barn dance.
After three beats, you're free to look away because it's been established: one of you is going to happen upon the other at some point during the evening, and it's going to seem like a coincidence that you both went up to get a refill at the same time at the one diner in town, but it's no coincidence and you know it. And all of this is understood and agreed upon in under five seconds, which is just impressive.

"Who was that!" Says Diana as the boy waltzes into the bathroom. "He was cute!" Diana is one of those gorgeous girls who crushes hearts just by walking through the grocery store, but she's together with John so she can't do the three-beat eye contact thing. And she wouldn't anyway because those two are most maddeningly in love.


I tell Diana how the boy was looking at me like he meant business and I was looking back cause I'm open for business or something to that effect and she says "Yeah girl get after it!" But then we all load up in the car and start to drive away because we are not actually staying at this fun, four dollar camp site, with the showers and all the people. John has found us free, isolated camping twenty miles away that we're sharing with a homeless man and his Minn Pinn, Fang.

Evidently the man had been kicked out of his house and was now living permanently at the site that John thought only we knew about. He had rigged up a whole kingdom for himself out of tarps and lawn chairs and woke us up that morning by blasting us a welcome to the neighborhood good-morning gangster rap. The only comprehensible lyrics of this song were: Show me your cock! Show me your cock! Show me your COCK!!!! Either that or Show Me Your God, Show me your God, but at 7am, pumped through the base- saturated speakers of a Toyota Camry, it's hard to tell.
A little bit later, the Minn Pinn came running through our site and grabbed a breakfast sausage from the pan and ran off with it, and the man lowered the speakers just enough to scream FANG! FANG! FANG!  FANG! GIT BACK HERE! FANG! FANG! FANG!

And that's where we are going to spend the night.

As I back the car out of the parking lot I see the boy emerge from the bathroom and he looks at me through the car window like, wait what are you doing? I thought we had an agreement? And I come so close to stopping the car and throwing Diana and the keys and asking them to just leave me here for the night. I could fend for myself. In fact, I fend best when I'm by my bad self.  Once, Lisa and I flew to Austin, TX with no place to stay upon landing and suckered a whole team of ultimate players from Western Washington University into giving us a hotel room.  I'm a hella fender for myselfer.

But I don't stop, I just keep driving away, because I have my little tent set up and I'm going to sleep it in and enjoy it and enjoy all the things I brought for myself.  That and, I'll let you in on a big secret: sometimes, not all the boys play by the rules. Sometimes they smile and wink at you and make you feel like the bell of the ball and then you see them waltz across the parking lot and return to their lovely wife, who is fixing up dinner in the back of their pick up.

It's a tough world. Sometimes, it's best to drive away with your friends towards the package of mint oreos in your tent which will not let you down. Besides which, we're meeting a few friends at our camp site, and one of the boys is celebrating his birthday and probably I should be there.

Well, this is how it turns out.  John and Diana cook lamb burgers and they see me gnawing miserably on apple rings for dinner so they fix one for me. This is the only up. Beyond that, the friends at the camps site don't talk all that much, and the birthday boy is stoned out of his mind and no one will tell any camp fire stories. I slink off to bed unceremoniously and then it starts to rain. And then I hear a pop and my tent breaks and collapses on my head. So I remind myself as I wince into a damp sleep to STAY where the boys are ALWAYS STAY WHERE THE BOYS ARE.

 Meanwhile, back at the Smith Rock Camping area, there's a big bonfire and everyone is playing music and dancing and removing pieces of clothing as the flames grow higher. And the Dusty boy who stared at me has found some other girl to bat his eyes at and the game commences. 

In the morning, I crawl out of my heap of a tent and John's made some coffee. Rainy, rainy coffee.

Rainy breakfast.

By the time we get to the cliff, the rain's mostly parted and the sun is spotty but the dusty boy is never seen again.

And I'm not too worried. The season's just beginning. And it's going to be straight baller.

The Cinnamon Slab

I'm sleeping in Southern Oregon, alone in my little Mountain Hardwear Sprite. It's a solo tent, one I just glowingly reviewed for a Backpacking magazine. I wrote a cool 2,000 words praising its clever design, a snappy fusion of minimalism and space. (Magazines love the word fusion.) I bought the thing two years ago when I was faced with the prospect of third wheeling it all summer. I know my coupled friends really miss those days, when I would crawl into their tent in the evening with a friendly, "Hey guys! Got room for me? Say, who here likes UNO!" I really kept things lively for them, thrashing between them all night, zipping and unzipping the tent for my multiple bathroom breaks.  And I miss those days too, guys, but it's important for me to have my own space, especially because I'm such a light sleeper. You understand.


My life on these trips is perfectly tailored. My sleeping bag zips up tightly around me, the solitary beam of my headlamp illuminates the pages of the books I've brought to read.  My little stove, which packs to the size of a carton of cigarettes, boils exactly enough water for one french press of coffee, which I drink all by myself. When I get married I'll have to buy everything new, or slice myself in half.

I lie there cozily in the rain after a long day of climbing, admiring myself. It's supposed to really storm tonight but right now the rain is just pattering down, soothing. I hope it storms. I hope it rages. This tent will stand the test, just like it's done before. My body, sore from two days on the cliffs, feels like its being pulled down by magnets to the floor.  I really love this life. I love my tent, my individual pod where I'm dry and safe. Should I ever go homeless, I think as I gaze up into the skylight, I'll just move into this tent. I could do it.

As I'm thinking this, literally as the thoughts are chugging through my mind, there is a loud POP as the front pole snaps in half and the whole shelter collapses on top of me. I'm at the bottom of a heap of mesh and nylon. The whole thing is kaput.  I can think of gentler ways that the world could have reminded me not to get too high on myself, but that's not the way life works now, is it.

I'm too tired to get up and now it is pouring rain. There's nothing to do about it anyhow. The pole was already broken in one place, so the one pole fixing cylinder that came with the tent was already in use.

I should have stayed at the Mecca camp tonight, I think as I squeeze my eyes shut and try to ward off the growing clausterphobia.  I should have asked John and Diana to leave me behind at Mecca with that boy I saw at the bathrooms.


Mecca is the word I use to refer to Smith Rocks. Now, I've always found the over used, worn out sports equals religion metaphor to be totally lame, but there is something unarguably holy about Smith. It is the original- the birth place of sport climbing. And, with its endless rows of jagged peaks and winding, meticulous staircases, it looks like a Gaudi-designed cathedral, like the Sagrada Familia.
Photo by Diana Lee Meeks

 If the park is a cathedral, then the people who drive long distances through the night are pilgrims. We drove out of Seattle at 7:30pm, left the highway for a state route at Salem, and by 1:30am were climbing cautiously over the Cascades. The wilderness that engulfed us in those mountain was thick and cold and dangerous looking.  Diana kept me awake by telling stories from her remote fire fighting days, true horror stories of mad men and yetis. I thought I might have to jump into their tent and sleep between them that night if we didn't motor far away from that black forest. The few towns we passed through were curious- half abandoned, yet they gave off the image of being antonymous, shut off from the outside.

We arrived at our camp site at 3:00am. I ate a mint Oreo for comfort and slept tightly sealed in the back of my car. 

Our first morning at Smith was glorious.


We climbed all day on a wall called The Cinnamon Slab. The holds were tiny and crimpy, and required massive finger strength and strong legs. For once, my head was completely quiet as I led, rising above each bolt with pure concentration. Face climbs are my favorite, because a fall on lead would generally be pretty clean- no walls to smash into. My legs shook hard with the strain, but I felt powerful and precise on the tiny chips of rock. 

Then I sat back and watched John lead some ridiculously bouldery 5.11d I named The Tough One. If you're not down with the lingo, then good. Stay that way. Climbing lingo is really obnoxious, a fusion (there it is again) of computer techie with total stoner: 'Dude, that micro-crimp was surprisingly positive! Sweet!' But, for your edification at this time, 5.11 is about when routes start to really heat up. 5.5-5.10 is gateway drug material. 5.11 is the beginning of the really hard shit.
 John battled The Tough One for over an hour, as I wore out the shutter in my camera and Diana, at the other end of the rope, went numb in the legs.

Now, you may be tempted to look at the pictures below and think again of that terrifically cliched bit about climbing and religion. We may or may not look like members of the devout, draped in our traditional Moonstone and Prana garments, performing the sacred rituals of the righteous.

Please, stop. Stop that right now. We were simply bored (uproariously supportive of John, of course, but bored) on the ground, and we met a new friend named Jordan who entertained us by doing headstands. 

John was on The Tough One for so long, in fact, that evening fell.

He really, really wanted to reach those chains. Look how close he came!



But alas, something had to bring us back for round two....
 It was the end of a perfect day. The weather was stunning. The climbs were solid and endless, as were the snacks. My tent had not yet caved in. The storm was still far off.


This climbing life is addicting. We were as happy as can be. 

Vantage: Wind and Ecstasy


How much does it cost to get out of here? Gas, obviously. Gas is expensive. But there are three of us in the car to split the tank: myself, Lisa, and Nick. Everything else we bring from home. The Subaru is crammed to the gills with all the tools of the weekend warrior: tents and down sleeping bags for the still-frosted night, coiled ropes and racks of gear, a coffee press, a stove, fuel, spices, pale ales, one amber tinted bottle of whiskey, camera gear, layers of jewel toned polypropylene.


It's downpouring as we merge from 1-5 onto I-90 East; the heavy, wet rain makes it seem as if the city is whimpering. Even at 9:30 at night, the traffic is chaotic. My psyche has completely unraveled. I did the neurotic packing thing, the gleeful excitement thing, the last minute what-if-we-go-hungry-seizure in the grocery store thing, the hysterical, uncontrollable laughter while driving thing, and completely depleted my personal reserve of energy before leaving the city limits. I generally become a bit unhinged when granted a weekend pass to the wilderness, but this particular occasion was made considerably more manic because I just- no less than 24 hours ago- returned home from Vermont, via a long and uncomfortable plane ride against headwinds. I think the changes in time and climate were throwing me.


We stop in Rainier Valley to pick up Lisa's forgotten sleeping bag. I traipse inside to say hello to her roommates, enjoy a little tumbler of bourbon, one ice cube, and fork over my keys to Nick.  He takes them and tucks me nicely in the back seat where I fold up, seat belt fastened, between two gear bags and a fuel canister. Jetlagged and booze warm, I begin to gently melt away.

I know enough about night driving to know this: it's one of the few times that physics is evaded. Time and space lose their stronghold on reality as you press forward in the dark at 70mph. This is even more true when you're a passenger, and I'm not often a passenger, least of all in my own car. I'm like a tourist back there. I don't really know where I am and I only sort of know where I'm going. The last time I went to Vantage was eight and a half years ago, when I was a freshman in college, and I seemed to arrive there by magic. I asked fewer questions when I was 17, and packed lighter. I just remember falling asleep in the back of someone's car and waking up in the desert.


As we leave the city behind, darkness deepens but the rain keeps slashing down. Rough road conditions make the car rumble, and it's very warm inside, and dry, like this little protected bubble rolling down the pass. And then Nick, he may as well have fed me a tranquilizer: he puts Rusted Root on the CD player. African drum trip, Ecstasy, Send me on my way.  This was the first Cassette Tape I ever owned. I wore the film strip down to threads, playing it over and over on my Walkman as I ran, alone, through the overgrown logging roads on my property, miles from anyone, flat chested, twelve years old, a happy kid but an isolated one, and impatient. I was decidedly blessed with a wild and free childhood but I knew- knew- that my grown up self would run even wilder and I could not wait to get there.

The interior of the car is ecstasy. The only thing keeping me awake- barely awake- are the statistics of traffic mortality. Inclement weather and tricky roads and the facade of immunity that can overcome a driver- dad studies these things for a living and has made me acutely aware of this- the ubiquitous terror of automobiles. Furthermore, it feels like 3am in my mixed up brain, and I'm convinced that it really is 3am, so every twenty minutes I'll startle myself awake, horrified that Nick has fallen asleep at the wheel and we're all dead.

He's not asleep, of course. It's only midnight, Lisa and Nick are talking in the front seat. I can only make out the sharp S sounds from their conversation. Lisa says, "Lina, calm down, we're awake." She takes my hand in hers and its warmth pushes me over the precipice and into sleep. Real sleep.


I wake up in the desert. The crowded camping area below the Feathers are quiet, curled in their tents and trucks, gearing up for one of the first days of the outdoor season. John and Diana have waited up for us; we find them nearly passed out in camp chairs around the glowing red fire pit. I fumble for the door handle and fall out of the car onto the dust. As usual, I become instantly awake and chirpy when I get a breath of fresh air. "So sorry to keep you waiting." I stand up, brush off my legs. "We left the city a bit later than planned."


The others set up their tent and I arrange myself in the back of the car with the seats laid flat. I with my head on the pillow, I can just press my toes against the back windshield.  It's 1 in the morning in the desert, early April, and I sleep like a champion. In fact, I'm the only one out of the five of us who can sleep. As I'm dreaming (warm rocks, silver bolts, espresso shots and Hometeam) a wind storms bellows into the gorge like a silver Amtrak Passenger train. It whips out of nowhere and wrecks havoc on John and Diana's tent, pressing the fabric walls against their faces.  They give up quickly and bed down in their Impreza. (Picture trying to find a suitable sleeping position inside a large snail. I speak from experience.)

Nick's tent, impossibly well-rigged (NOLS training, don'cha know) stays afloat but rattles like canvas sails on a doomed ship. Meanwhile, safe inside metal and fogged glass, I am rocked lightly back and forth. I sort of remember clambering out to pee in the early morning and nearly getting launched off of the earth and spit into orbit, but that could be merely a fantasy.


Lisa wakes me up in the morning when she jumps onto my head, fighting against the wind to pull the car door shut. "OH My GOD."  She rakes the tangled hair out of her eyes. "This is ridiculous! Can we even climb in this?" "Oh sure." I say, veteran that I am. "If it's not raining, we can climb in anything."


Then I look out the back windshield and see John in his puff-ball coat, tumbling away as he tries to reach the safety of my car.

"Well, never mind." I tell her. "Not in this."


We are five people cramped into the back of a car, too stubborn to return to the city, watching tumbleweeds zoom around like angry, truncated snowmen. The simplest things become excruciatingly difficult. Example; Lisa getting dressed:

  

Regardless, we're here for two days, we want to climb, we really do, and we're starting to get hungry. What would you do?

Meanwhile, on the East coast....

Dangerous Girl Chelsea Kendrick
Allow me to introduce Chelsea Kendrick from Asheville, North Carolina. I chose this rad, ballsy climbing chick to be the first guest blogger on The Wilder Coast,  for reasons that should be apparent just from that picture. I met Chelsea through a mutual friend when I lived in North Carolina in 2010. Although we only knew each other briefly- I lived in Boone, a long, snowy drive from the metropolis of Asheville- Chels left an impact on me. For one, she's the creator and promoter of Ladies Climbing Night at the local Asheville rock gym, and anyone who works that hard to foster a community just melts my heart. 

Furthermore, Chelsea is the creator of crushcakes, a blog that combines two of my favorite things: climbing and cupcakes. (By the way, that name? Crush Cakes? Brilliant.) She's the very picture of health, strength and vitality, so I asked her if she wouldn't mind sharing her thoughts on the three things we both agree are fundamental for a happy existence: food, friends, and rocks. Take it away, Chelsea...
***

I am pretty sure Asheville North Carolina was designed just for me. Its overwhelming plethora of food venues with local flare speaks to my true love for eating fantastic food. There are cupcake shops, chocolate lounges, tea shops, coffee shops, vegan and vegetarian restaurants, local beer breweries galore, Indian food, Thai food, Ethiopian food, Spanish tapas, anything my tummy wants and all with an affinity for using local organic products. Meanwhile the mountains tower on the edges of this funky little town hosting opportunities for almost any outdoor adventure a gal could hope for. There is paddling, climbing, mountain biking, hiking, trail running, ice climbing, snowboarding, cross country skiing on the blue ridge park way, hot springs soaking, you name it, we have it.


So what is a girl to do with so much good food and great outdoor opportunities? Well I say take advantage! My philosophy is, stay active and eat the food that feeds your soul. So many women worry about their bodies, and what to put in them, ounce by ounce, calorie by calorie. Now I am no nutrition expert but I am an expert on doing what feels right for my body, and what makes me happy. Being healthy is a huge part of being happy and being active is a huge part of being healthy. Starving myself just seems like a sure fire route to unhappiness so I try to avoid that route at all costs. I like to eat. I like to eat well. I like to indulge myself. On the flip side I like to earn it, I like to push my body until it can't be pushed anymore. I like to wake up in the morning sore all over from a weekend of steep sandstone sport climbing.


Now I know what you are thinking: This girl is extreme, she eats a ton and then exercises really hard. That isn't it at all, I eat lots of small meals in a day. I don't over do the quantity, I am all about quality. I also work very hard to find the balance in exercise because I have plenty of first hand experience with the injuries resulting from over doing it.

How did I get to this place of self confidence, comfort in indulgence, and personal challenge? For me it was rock climbing, for you it may be paddling or something else. But what specifically about these sports got me where I am now? Two things: female community and personal challenge. I run the ladies only climbing program at the climbing gym in Asheville. It is a biweekly space for women to come together and push themselves to their physical, mental, and emotional limits within a supportive, encouraging community setting. While developing our strength and climbing skills we have also developed a solid community of amazing women. We have discovered our power, our ability, our confidence and valuable connections to one another.

  
We also discovered cupcakes. I started making baked goods every so often for ladies night. Slowly but surely they came to be an anticipated pillar of ladies night. I found myself looking forward to new creative cupcake ideas for each week. Meanwhile the community was also looking forward to what I would come up with. There is something magical about stuffing your face full of buttery sugary goodness along side the same women with which you were only previously defying gravity. Some of the gals eat two or three cupcakes, with no shame or guilt or excuses. These women along with myself have come to understand a new image of female beauty. An image of strength, agility, curves, character, self confidence, and connection to fellow women. I find this image much more attractive than the anorexic, bleached, airbrushed, high fashion, depressing image we see in much popular media.

So here is my recipe for beauty and happiness: Play outside, develop a community with the people that like doing the things you like to do, and go do those things together. Eat food that makes you smile and say yummmmm! Eat it with good friends, hopefully these same good friends you just went on an adventure with earlier. Make time for having fun, and spending time with people that affirm you. Oh and eat cupcakes whenever possible because it is pretty hard to be bummed out while eating a cupcake.

Yep, she made these! For more photos and recipes, go to www.crushcakecupcakes.blogspot.com