I brought Olive to the farm today. It was a slow day at the farm. If you climbed up past the hurricane-wrecked corn maze and took a slight right, you could sit in the field and pretend that you were all alone, that maybe this land was your land and you were all alone on it.
It is very gratifying to show my almost one year old something for the first time. Last Friday it was peacocks and real live ducks. Today it was pigs and baby chicks. So maybe I’m only referring to farm animals, either way, it’s a wonderful thing. She watches and becomes very still.
Olive does this new thing where she wraps her arms around my neck and gently pats me on the back. Then she’ll rub her hand in a little circle and then go back to patting. It’s exactly what I do to her.
The only time I’m not with her is when I’m doing a photo shoot. That’s the only time. I didn’t anticipate it would be like that. I had no idea that I’d want to be around her all of the time. I probably should try and diversify just a little bit. I should exercise. I should leave her at home and go to the climbing gym. But that could set off a year’s worth of screaming pain inside my joints and bones, that’s the risk. When I feel that pain it’s hard to be alive.
I made tomato soup from Mark Bittman’s book and served it with a plate filled with quartered grilled cheese sandwiches. Olive had a bite of a grilled cheese dipped in soup and she lost her mind. She was bopping up and down in her seat and shouting for more before she even swallowed what was in her mouth. Dave and I tried not to laugh because we didn’t want her to choke. This kid chokes a lot. I ended up having to feed her so much and so fast that I barely got to eat my own bowl.
Her birthday is right around the corner. And then we’re flying to Arkansas to see Ammen and Steph and their girls. I miss Ammen and Steph. I miss Lisa. I miss them terribly.
I want Kavanaugh to go away. Yesterday I was at a birthday party a few blocks away and there was a tiny pinata. It was really miniature, so small that it was almost impossible to hit with a blindfold on. We were getting more and more aggressive as we took whacks at it. “KAVANAUGH!!” We screamed. “LIFETIME APPOINTMENT!!”
Eventually it burst and rolos went everywhere.
Olive really took me by surprise; the impact she’s had on my life over the past year. She’s made everything easier. She’s made everything about my life so much easier.