This is an example of the commercial I auditioned for. My commercial will have a kayaker going down rapids instead of hanging out on a yacht. Truth me told I'd rather hang out on a yacht.
So the other day I got a message from a local boater about a talent scout looking for girls who whitewater kayaked. The message included the name of an Agent named Gordon Adams at BigFish Talent Northwest. I sent him a few photos and some of my acting and kayaking background (which could be summed up as limited, fairly limited, but that's not how I worded it.) The next day, Gordon called me and informed me that I'd been selected to audition for a commercial for Tampax that would be broadcast internationally. They needed a young, female actress who could kayak. Preference was given to girls with higher boating skills. "This will be big money," said Gordon as I walked down Phinney Ridge, having just crossed the street to avoid Herkimer Cafe because I can't really afford to buy coffee. "Big money."
Holy smokes! One minute I'm walking down the street with the dog, a normal Wednesday, wondering what to do with my life, and the next moment I'm walking down the street with the dog, a normal Wednesday, wondering what to do with my life, and BAM! I have an AGENT! I would have called everyone I know just to say "Oh, well, I just got off the phone with my agent, what's up with you?" But I couldn't, because my phone was broken (bath tub, slip of the hand) the keys didn't work, and I no longer had the ability to make outgoing calls. Something I could easily remedy once I made a fortune being the new Tampax girl.
The only catch was that the audition was the very next day. The fact that I wasn't an actress, skinny, sleek, tan, or anything like the boppy teens who frequent tampon commercials didn't phase me. All that could be faked. An example of me not being a sleek, tan, boppy, commercial-worthy teen. I am stuck in my dry top and drinking a beer. My right arm, as you can see, is stuck. This photo did not make it into my portfolio, although it should have.
The challenge was to memorize the scripts, apply to two talent agencies (one union, one non-union) print out head shots, put together a portfolio of kayaking shots, get directions, print out a resume, buy the necessary clothes, get my hair and makeup done and get to my 4:00PM audition in Portland Oregon the next day.
Somehow I threw it all together. A handful of high school plays and a few instances posing in a sea kayak for a photographer friend expanded on my resume to a lifetime of theatrics and modeling. Three and half hours in a car with no AC, unable to touch my tricked out hair or my made-up face which was almost melting off in the 96 degree heat, and I made it to Lana Veeknar Talent Agency with an hour to spare.
It was to be my last trip in a rusty 1995 Subaru. After I got the commercial, I planned to switch to chartering a private plane.
What happens next?! To be continued!